The Religion Issue
My daughterwon't be raised a Muslimah without her father.
It will be already saddening for her that her father left. She'll already feel the discrimination at being of half-Arab parentage, and fatherless; I can't let her go without the catholic celebrations that her class-mates will be enjoying.
To start with communion. The girls are dressed like brides, and have parties thrown in their honour. How will my Baby feel seeing the other children excited about this rite of passage, anticipating their glorious dresses and maybe trips to Euro Disney or big parties with their family or friends? Can I inflict that sense of unbelonging on her? No, I can't; I'll give her a happy life - with ballet lesson, pretty dresses, parties and trips abroad. I've always loved working, and I'd love to work to give me and my baby the life we deserve; the happiness we deserve
posted by UmmAminah at 6:15 AM
12 Comments:
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You mean she'll be the only muslim in school when she grows up? Are they really so prejudiced in Malta?
yes, they are, Mono. And she'd be deptived of the rites of passage of the others.
can't have that - she'd already be deprived of a dad!
Myriam, try not to be so sad. I think that what you have decided is best for your girl. After all, her father's religion made him think that it's OK for him to beat you when he wishes! And the multiple Koranic verses about women being second-hand humans, you know. Let her be free from this all, she has never chosen it anyway!
"The girls are dressed like brides, and have parties thrown in their honour."
Wow, we don't have such fancy celebrations over here!
Is it a religious school? It's strange that communion would be part of school.
Hello Ummaminah,
Thanks for visiting my blog, and I am sorry for what you have been through with your husband...be sure that God will take care of you and your daughter.
Ciao
I was watching a movie yesterday called Prime. In the movie, the guy is jewish and the girl is christian. Someone asks the guy "Do you care if your children were jewish or christian?" He replies "I care if they're happy!"
So don't worry about it. You're the mother. You know what's best for your child. Even if you don't, you'll figure it out. God will show you the way! :)
I think if you feel is the right decision then go ahead! I didn't know it was so much prejudice in Malta for muslims. I think You can always explain to her her dad was muslim and then when she is old she can always learn the good parts of the religion,which are many. It is sad people think so bad of islam for the way some muslims practice it:( Anyway give baby a big kiss from me and Nuria
I thought my Muslim readers would condemn my choice. I'm so pleasantly surprise.
Clay, I love your answer - waht matters is her happiness.
I'll let her do what others her age do - what's wrong with wearing a pretty dress and parading a bit at 7 - she's still too young to fully grasp the meaning of what is the miracle to christians - for me it was a special day only because of the dress and the party - nothing else - and its the same for all the little girls.
But I'll let her learn and study - if he wants Ali can also teach her the fundamentals of Islam when they are together. And she'll choose for herself when she wants to
hi ummaminah..
i liked what you just wrote .. let her learn both religions and then choose .. i so sorry for what you had faced but i would like to tell you that the man you met is an exception not all muslims like that nor either the libyan men ..
and to maya m : there is no verse in the holy Qoran that encourage a man to beat his wife and most of my religion is about women rights .. our prophet Mohamed said that heaven is underneath mothers feet .. the problem is not relifion dear maya the probelm is the mentality and the lack of education ..
by the way .. i `m a normal person i`m not veiled (mohajaba) and nobody forced me to do so .. i`m just a moderate muslim living my life to the full.. injoying my time and that `s it and believe me most of the people i know are like me ..
again ummamina .. i praise your courage .. follow you heart after all this is your own daughter and your ex decided to dumb her therefore she is your total responsability.. i just don`t want you to hate this religion or that ..
bless you
Dania`s mama
Dear Umaminah
as Dania's mum said let your doughetr learn more about both religiouns and she can decide when she gets older...
and make sure when she learn about Islam to let her see the treu real and pretty side of it , because unfortuntly Muslims people are ruinding the image of Islam and makes it diffecult from things they create by them selves and they say it all written in Quran!!
most of resrict muslims i know who thinks they are expert in Islam they don't know evenb the meaning of the quran contents and that's the issue..
also i read in your previous posts about you thinking to wear the Hijab. again if you feel you don't want to wear it you don't have too unless you are convinced with it ..
my mum and both sisters don't wear Hijab because they belive that the real " Hijab" is inside your heart when you are good with people and don't make bad things in your life..
and also maybe you are unlucky because you have seen and lives with a bad virsion and example of Libyan men , not all Libyan men and families like that and it's nothing related with Islam , every where there is bad and good people.
and again do what your heart tells you , she's your doughter and you have the right to decide what's best for her ..
Warning: This comment may sound very preachy.
I grew up in a small town in Italy where there was no multiculturalism. Everyone except maybe two families were Roman Catholic Italians. We were different, but people accepted us. My older sister went to a catholic high school that was run by nuns, the nuns respected and loved her because she wore the hijab. Our school, although a public school went to church regularly, I went with them, but didnt attend the ceremony.
Umm Aminah, if you accept Islam as the truth and you are convinced of it, then you should raise your daughter as a Muslimah. I cannot tell you anything else, because I am convinced of Islam and although I accept and love people of all faiths and cultures, I believe Islam is the one true religion for all of humanity. I have also seen examples of people who accept Islam and are able to raise their children as Muslims in a totally nonMuslim society. If you want to talk more about this, drop me a line on my blog.
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